The controversy surrounding Nadya Suleman hurts my head. And my heart.
As someone who believes in reproductive rights, I’m really torn when Ms. Suleman’s decisions are questioned. But man, I totally agree that they should be. Back when she was thinking about getting pregnant for the seventh time – and having multiple eggs fertilized – it wasn’t a fertility doctor she needed. It was a mental health professional.
It sounds like her mom couldn’t reason with her. And I’m guessing there’s a reason her former boyfriend is only present as a sperm donor. I’m tempted to say here that she’s selfish. And I kinda feel like she must be – why else would she bring so many little ones into a world where it’s difficult to raise even a small family? The numbers to feed and diaper that many children is staggering. And I’m not even going to get into medical bills.
As someone who battles depression myself, I want to understand her motivation for having so many children. I really do. But at the end of the day (even my hardest ones), I still know better than to think a brood of children will cure my depression. Hell, I didn’t even allow myself to get a puppy on my own. Or a fish for that matter.
It’s no secret depression can alter a person’s ability to make good decisions. It makes things cloudy. So when Ms. Suleman’s IVF doctor comes under investigation, I agree that his practices should be scrutinized. But the buck does not stop there.
The reality is, anyone can have 14 children. And many have, on their own, without the aid of a fertility doctor. Of course many of those were the same people who lived off the earth. So they honest-to-god needed the extra pairs of hands around. Plus, they didn’t have modern medicine, like, say birth control.
I’d like to think humanity has advanced since then. And while I believe having children is a very personal choice, I don’t think it should be a self-satisfying one. In fact, I think it’s a very selfless decision to become a parent. And I hope Ms. Suleman finds another way to treat her depression – before her home becomes its own suburb.
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Contributor’s note: My mom told me Ms. Suleman had plastic surgery to get lips like Angelina Jolie’s. We laughed about it. Whether it’s true or not. It brought us some smiles. And I didn’t even need to have 14 children to have a good day.
Unscripted 