Yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker with that saying on it. And it struck me as good and honest. At first.
Then, during my walk back to the office – up Water Street to Michigan Avenue and over the River (and through the woods) – I had a few minutes to explore whether I think that’s completely true.
What if your partner is a “giver” and you’re a “taker”, which was the case in my last relationship? Wouldn’t that throw off the equilibrium? Suddenly, this wonderful sentiment gets twisted and turned and reads like some demented fortune cookie: “You will get far more than you give”. And the second part of that would likely be, “And you are destined to feel like shit about it. And yourself.”
Similarly, what if you’re the giver and she’s the taker? Wouldn’t you begin to feel exhausted? And start to wonder if giving so much is all it’s cracked up to be?
I guess what I’m saying is, I think there is a lot of truth to “You Get What You Give”. And I certainly believe in karma. (Let’s just say the boomerang has gotten me both when I’ve been good and when I’ve been bad.)
But, I wonder how external circumstances including other people affect karma and the like. I’m not a physicist, or a psychologist (although I would like to play one on TV). And this is all starting to sound a bit like quantum physics, with so many parts to consider.
I suppose this random bumper sticker is another rendition of The Secret and the Law of Attraction. All of which I put value in. But I’ve also seen really greedy people rise to the top and give not much more than criticism to those around them.
I will never forget the client who made my skin crawl by being that way. But what I didn’t see firsthand was how she’s affected emotionally by her own actions. Which is probably a really, really dark spot in her life. And perhaps is part of the vicious reason she’s in such a cycle.
Thankfully I was raised with old–fashioned values about treating others the way I’d like to be treated. And tend to surround myself with like-minded people. So while I may still question the simplicity of that bumper sticker, at least I still have hope that it could be just that easy.
And if that’s the case, why not try it?
Unscripted 